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> Your Present: A Sour Asshole
Soulwithlife
 Posted: Dec 27 2017, 06:49 PM
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T'was vaguely around Christmas, and all through the mall, not a creature was stirring. Instead, they were too busy having lunch, shopping 'till they dropped, and...okay, I suppose people in the cafés were stirring coffees, but other than that, absolutely no stirring. Got it?

Anyway, we're getting off track here; what you ought to focus on are the Christmas trees. Wouldn't they be fantastic places to plant mind control devices? They're spread so cleverly around the mall that you'd probably get full coverage, and you'd never see the glint of metal among all the gaudy baubles.

On the other hand, there was only so much that a bit of over the top Christmas tradition could hide when a girl in a messy red dress fell from the uppermost windows, yelling out as she hit damned near every branch on the ugly tree. When she finally hit the bottom, amongst the shattering of decorations and the stares of curious onlookers, she slowly got to her feet, rubbing her newly-acquired bruises as she looked around.

Oh shit, she thought. I fell into the fuckin' Christmas version of Wonderland. 'Cept instead of weird rabbits and shit, it's assholes shopping in a mall.

"Wait," she said aloud. "This hell? Fuck, gonna kick Satan's ass when I find him. Shit sucks."

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Tarkya
 Posted: Dec 28 2017, 10:56 AM
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Tyler hated shopping on the best of days. Shopping during a holiday rush was so far opposite of the best of days that it nearly looped around into tolerable.

...actually no. This was still the worst, with a "catchy" Christmas music cherry on top. She was going to be humming "Jingle Bell Rock" for days now.

At least she wasn't having to do present shopping. No, her money was strictly for housing stuff for her new and remarkably cheap studio. Furniture was part of the deal for the place, but she still needed those little things that she kept realizing were important - utensils, cleaning supplies, clothes...

She'd gotten the first thing categories. The third... well, right now she was quite enjoying her sitting break near one of the gaudy Christmas trees decorating the mall. A tree that, without much warning, began to rattle and shout.

Wait, what? Tyler stood up, wondering if this was going to be a repeat of the robots. Then she noticed the person rising from the ground near the tree. ...oh.

An entry that dynamic probably meant one thing. And damnit, that meant she was going to have to step in, didn't it? She picked up her shopping bags and approached. "...hey, you alright?"

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Dec 28 2017, 01:52 PM
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As a curious stranger approached, the girl let her resting bitch face do work as she brushed bauble shards from her dress.

"No," she said bluntly. "Was in house, jumped through window, fell into mall somehow. Fuckin' magic, I bet."

Her suspicious eyes gave the surrounding area a once-over, but it all looked bog-standard modern.

"Whatever," she said, focusing back on the stranger. "Name's Lexa. You in charge?"

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Tarkya
 Posted: Dec 29 2017, 10:16 AM
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Well, this person was fairly brusque. Then again, she had just fallen out of the sky, which would put anyone in a bad mood.

"Sounds about right." Tyler glanced around - knowing how things seemed to work, the security wouldn't come until they were ready to leave anyway - and then turned back to Lexa. "I'm Tyler. I'm not in charge of anything, except maybe for welcoming you to the City."

She shifted her bags in her hands so that the handles would dig into a different, less-sore location. Man, how did she even do this sort of introduction? "I assume that falling out of nowhere isn't normal where you come from, either."

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Dec 29 2017, 04:05 PM
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Lexa snarled as she stepped out of the Christmas tree area, pushing a wide-eyed little boy out of the way in the process. "For casters, not me. They attacked, burned house. Left trap outside window, maybe. Fuckin' cowards."

Though if they did, why send me here? she thought. Could be they made a mistake. Typical.

"Whatever," she said again. "Tyler, yeah? Not with the magic assholes? Hope not. Bunch of—"

Suddenly, Lexa fell to her knees as a sharp pain wracked her brain, jumbling it about as it swapped out all the drapes and muddied the carpet. Then, in an unbidden motion, her head snapped back up, her eyes full of clockwork.

"Fuckin' Christ, buy me a drink next time," she said through gritted teeth. "What even...what?"

Lexa sincerely hoped she hadn't turned into a dog, because right now, she was seeing in greyscale. Although, saying that, this 'Tyler' was giving off a bright blue glow, along with several other mall-goers. As she gave Tyler a closer look, a small paragraph faded in, like a text prompt from a video game.

"Hyperfocus?" Lexa mumbled, putting a hand to her forehead. "Fuckin' magic. Knew it."

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Tarkya
 Posted: Dec 29 2017, 04:18 PM
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Tyler couldn't help but click her tongue. That was... rough. And dense with information. Casters? People attacking her house? Wherever Lexa was from, it certainly wasn't her world. "That's rough. No, I'm not with whoever those guys were, considering-"

Then Lexa suddenly dropped to her knees, and Tyler instinctively stepped forward, concerned. She had dropped from the sky, after all. If she'd gotten some kind of head injury...

And then she fixed her with a stare, which reversed Tyler's direction rather quickly. The last thing she needed was to accidentally get caught by some person who'd just woken up with laser vision or god knew what else.

"...you alright there?"

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Dec 29 2017, 04:36 PM
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"No," Lexa said, for that was her patented 'are you okay' response. "Eyes are fucked. Seeing shit."

She had a cursory glance around the mall, and as she focused on each bit of colour in turn, more and more information came to light. It wasn't common—barely every twenty people—but some kind of magic was around. Maybe. Hm...

"One sec."

Lexa herself wasn't lit up like the others, but nevertheless, a bit of staring produced an enormous block of text. Jesus, overboard much?

"Can see magic shit, apparently," Lexa reported with distaste. "Guess that makes me a caster. Fuck. Can't be racist against yourself my ass."

She got to her feet, slowly reading through more of the text. "Turn it off, turn it off...fuck, maybe...?"

She put a finger to her forehead, then dragged it around to the outer edge of one of her eyes. Next she blinked, her vision was back to normal.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck for that. So, uh, Ryder somethin'? The fuck am I?"

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Tarkya
 Posted: Jan 1 2018, 03:38 PM
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Well, whatever Lexa was doing, it didn't seem to involve shooting lasers out of her eyes, but apparently it was some kind of eye thing. Seeing "magic shit", going by her terminology.

...That sounded about right as well. "Well, uh... the unhelpful answer would be that you're in a shopping mall." She gestured vaguely towards the row of mostly unfamiliar shopfronts. "The slightly more helpful but still unhelpful answer would be that you're in the City."

She shifted the bags in her hands again, trailing off. She was definitely not ready to deal with this...

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Jan 1 2018, 03:46 PM
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"Noticed that, thanks," Lexa said flatly. "Which city? London? New York? Phoenix?"

Lexa paused, blinking slowly. "Country too, I guess. Continent? Planet?"

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Tarkya
 Posted: Jan 1 2018, 04:19 PM
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"City, capital C. If I knew anything else, I'd tell you, but that's literally all I can find."

Screw it, she wasn't holding this bags forever. She wandered back to her previous seat and set the bags down, followed by setting herself down. There was plenty of space on the bench if Lexa had the same idea.

"What I can tell you is that I woke up one morning in a subway that definitely wasn't my house, and then watched my sister's boyfriend fly around punching a giant robot, which definitely isn't something he was able to do before."

And, well, her being able to inexplicably dodge giant rocks, but that wasn't the important bit right now.

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Jan 1 2018, 04:43 PM
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Lexa reluctantly followed Tyler to the bench, grumbling to herself as bruises by the dozens made themselves known. Still, her not-so-latent anti-social instinct was still going strong, so she stayed awkwardly stood, half-listening to this ridiculous—and worse, possibly true—explanation.

"Less planet, more universe...right," Lexa said, scratching her head. "People come here, get powers. Mystery place, no real name. Modern-ish..."

She looked back around the mall, frowning. "Fuckin' anime shit. Hey, Psyker, don't know shit, right? Know someone who does? Prolly got spiky hair?"

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Tarkya
 Posted: Jan 2 2018, 05:19 PM
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"Heavy emphasis on the -ish. It's... sort of the future according to the 1980's. Boxy computers, shitty internet, lots of robots." She paused, considering what she'd heard of the girl's muttering, and continued. "Wizards too, because... why not, I guess?"

Tyler sighed before flipping out her cellphone to check the time. "If you're asking about a 'main character'... I dunno. I've been more occupied with things like finding an apartment." She put her phone back away, fiddling nervously with it in her pocket. "That one, at least, was abnormally easy."

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Jan 2 2018, 05:25 PM
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"Don't know what future 80s was like, wasn't born," Lexa said, crossing her arms. "And wizards make everything worse. Fact."

She had a glance around while Raynor prattled on, but she didn't see anyone who screamed 'I'm the main character!'. Shit.

"Well," she said. "Video games taught me anything, walk long enough and you'll bump into the plot. Later, Sailor."

And with that, she started walking off in whatever direction took her fancy, disregarding the loud growl from her stomach.

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Tarkya
 Posted: Jan 2 2018, 05:57 PM
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Tyler stared as the girl began to wander off. She... she shouldn't just let her do that, right? She should be a responsible adult here, right?

God damn it, why was she considered an adult, anyway...

"H-hey. Before you go wandering around and get eaten by a demon or whatever. Do you want to get something at the food court?" She took a breath, hoping she wouldn't regret her next words.

"My treat."

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Soulwithlife
 Posted: Jan 2 2018, 06:05 PM
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Lexa sent Tyler a suspicious look. "There actual demons here? Fuckin' damn it. Prolly can't stare 'em down."

Lexa's stomach growled again. "Could eat 'em, though. Fuck it, lead the way, Skylar. Take pound sterling? Got plenty of that on me."

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